‍''Hi friends, I'm going to tell you my little story. My name is Fidèle Noah, yes it's ugly I know. I don't understand why my parents gave me this first name, it's really so old-fashioned and not very suitable for a girl like me. Luckily I have two, Carla is my middle name, it's the one I always use everywhere, it suits me better and reflects me.

I am the eldest in my family, I am 30 years old, yes I am already a big girl still single and without children. You will understand why I don't have children, it's voluntary. I come from a modest family, formerly rich but now poor because I am practically the only one who brings enough to eat at home. I live with my little sister, Lydie who is still at school and my father François Noah who fights as best he can to help me with the household expenses.

It's not always easy because he's sick all the time, he's diabetic and hypertensive so he's often off duty. We live in an apartment, lucky my uncle left it to us when he left for Europe with his family, I don't know what we would have done if we had been renting with the high cost of living in the economic capital, it's not easy. My mother pffff I don't like talking about her she annoys me. I very often hear people speak well of their mothers, say that they are their god and everything, it makes me sad I would have so much liked my mother to be like other people's mothers but too bad, she preferred herself to us.

A few years ago my father lost his job, a job that protected us from need, I still remember that period well we were so happy an almost perfect family, my father took good care of us and his wife, we lacked nothing. One evening my father came home from work all dejected and looking desperate, the worst had happened, he had lost his job following a serious problem that his company was experiencing, they were forced to lay off employees and him at the same time.

The world collapsed before our eyes, my father did not have a plan B nothing at all and my mother, a housewife was also counting on him. The lifestyle began to gradually decline while he found another job. It was as if bad luck was on his side because he could not find anything, nothing to do despite his skills, nothing, not even a sub-job. That year was the most difficult, my mother could not bear the extreme misery we were plunged into, one fine morning we woke up that she had deserted without leaving any trace or words. I was 22 years old, I could already take care of my family like a woman. So I took over, I wiped away my father's tears,I took care of him like a baby, he had lost confidence in himself, lost the love of his life and thought he was losing our respect at the same time. That was not the case.

My little sister and I had given him all the love that children could give to their dad. Little by little, he got back on his feet and did a series of small jobs, thanks to that I was able to get my degree and I stopped school. It was time for me to take responsibility as a big sister. I started looking for work, I also did any kind of work as long as it brought me something, with what I earned and what my father brought in we could manage and continue to pay for Lydie's studies.

Until the day my father fell, it was a second shock for us, he had stopped working and I was the only one bringing in money, how much? For how many people? not counting his medications, his care and medical visits, with all this we could no longer manage the rent and we accepted the proposal of his big brother, our uncle to live with him. We are there until today. You understand that after everything I have experienced so far I have not had the calm mind to think about having a child not even by accident, I have always taken my precautions, for me my family comes first and despite what we are experiencing I would not want to, it would be irresponsible for me to bring back another burden and even my little sister I tell her all the time. She is a beautiful little girl of 20 years very intelligent she has just started university and is studying finance, I know that one day she will take over she will become a great lady.

The departure of our mother affected her a lot, she cried sometimes because of her absence, I couldn't do anything, I didn't know where she was until the day her sister, my aunt, let us know that she lives with a white man, eh ah a white man, whatever. My mother is a bad woman, I hate her, you'll think I'm harsh, too bad, that's how I feel, I don't want to see her today or tomorrow... She had come into contact with my little sister, I'm never going to stop her from seeing her mother, but I want her to cross her path. I'm never going to be like her, abandon my children because I saw a white man who has more money, a kid, that Stuippp woman. I hope she's happy wherever she is.It was time for me to take responsibility as a big sister. I started looking for work, I also did any kind of work as long as it brought me something, with what I earned and what my father brought home we could manage and continue to pay for Lydie's studies.

Until the day my father fell, it was a second shock for us he had stopped working and I was the only one bringing in money, how much? For how many people? not to mention her medication, her care and medical visits, with all this we could no longer manage the rent and had accepted the proposal of her big brother, our uncle to live with him. We are there until today.